How are you ? You are not yet tired of the rainbow wave that floods the media on this international day of the fight against homo and all other letter-phobias?
Frankly, everyone lives their life as they want, I don't give a fuck but we don't promote it. Well, that bothers me.
Phrase said yesterday by a friend found after many years, thinking to show tolerance. No need to specify cis-hetero white but I do it anyway. Let's dissect:
Live life the way you want
… that’s exactly what the community is asking for LGBTQIA+ and the purpose of the day. In Belgium, there is still a long way to go, but from a legal point of view, we are setting an example on an international scale. Indeed, this year, we are in 3rd place in the ranking of the most LGBT-friendly countries in Europe. the association ILGA-Europe is based on 70 criteria, reviewing legislation against discrimination, authorization of marriage, gender self-determination… Now, between theory and practice, there is a world of difference. It is up to us to reduce it and ensure that other countries follow suit. While the situation is improving in western Europe, it is deteriorating in the east and just about everywhere else on the globe. Can we therefore say that everyone can live their life? Not everywhere anyway.
What if we didn't care?
But it's a pleasure ! When you are part of the norm defined by society, you do not bother anyone, there is no reason to give a damn. But for it to be reciprocal, you have to be part of this norm. All together, by adopting an adequate vocabulary, by offering visibility and diversity in the public space, by educating, by informing ourselves, by denouncing ordinary homophobia, we will manage to open the borders of normality.
But what to do when, on a daily basis, at all ages, at all social levels, you are reminded that you are not in line? When your acquaintances want to reassure you about your celibacy because being a single woman with a house under construction is not easy and you will end up finding the right man for you. When your doctor judges, wrongly, it is useless to have an STI check-up because you have lesbian sex. When you stall 2 hours in a clothing store because everything is binary and you go out with a pair of socks. When at a professional reception, we suggest that you do your shopping in the guys in suits department. There, I have just summarized the last 6 days (true) So yes, when we run out of anecdotes of this type several weeks in a row, indeed, we can all give a fuck!
La promotion rainbow ?
Combining all the colors, the rainbow does not escape washing marketing, just like pink, green, black or white. A good number of brands are using this news to sell anything by restoring their image. However, behind the scenes is often darker. For SustainablePleasure, this commitment is not a simple marketing action. It is with humility and humanity that we have included our support for the LGBTQIA+ community in the company's values. Every day of the year, 5% of the amount of your purchases is donated to associations whose mission is to save young LGBTQIA+ people in difficulty or even in danger of death. Today, too many states still penalize lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender people with prison, torture, the death penalty or hard labor (source). Every gesture counts to participate in this fight.
Luckily it bothers!
This is proof that there is a problem that deserves solutions. We are in the same logic as L'Indéprimeuse who recently said "A feminism that doesn't bother anyone is not feminism. It's marketing.“Defending your rights, your freedom to be who you are, pursuing your quest for identity, is not promoting a community, it is simply asking to exist in the same way as anyone else on earth.
If a situation is bothersome, it often arouses fear, but fear of what? From the difference? Of the change in society that is underway? From the loss of landmarks that have been deeply anchored for several millennia? It is completely legitimate to be afraid, but why make others suffer the consequences? To no longer be afraid, you have to accept it and simply face it. It may take time, it is not easy but it is worth trying.
That's all that this terrible sentence, said in an innocuous way, evoked for me. The worst thing is that I did not find the strength, the courage to answer anything. I don't even know if he was aware of my sexual orientation by letting me have it spontaneously. Do we have to perpetually come out?
I don't feel legitimate to complain when others lose their lives for less than that, but should I close it? Too complicated to manage too quickly, he has already moved on. Not me. As too often, I avoid conflict, I let it be said by naively betting on the future... and a little on this post to express myself with relief ;-)
So, share it, let's talk about it so that one day, everyone doesn't care! Don't care about sexual orientation, identity and why not everything else finally, right? Let's live!
Love is love